Mamma Mia! Could Mario Teach Italian Someday?

Buongiorno! We all know that Mario and Luigi are an Italian-American duo by now, right [32] [38] [39]? Since the brothers have been known for speaking in Italian accents since the mid-‘90s, thanks to the talented Charles Martinet [33], I believe that sometime later this new decade can be a great opportunity for them to star in a new educational game that heavily focuses on teaching young children how to speak Italian. Do not get me wrong. I understand that “Mario Teaches Typing” and its sequel were not so great examples of a memorable educational game and the edutainment genre within the Mario franchise died out before the late ‘90s [31] [40], but there is always a chance to provide major improvements when it comes to giving an unsatisfactory genre another chance in a new era; the 2020s. I shall proceed to elaborate on what to expect in a passable educational game about the Mario brothers teaching mostly young children Italian, similar to how Rayman once aimed to teach children French in an educational spin-off of his first adventure and how The Powerpuff Girls: Princess Snorebucks featured Bubbles’ nightmare that taught me a bit of Spanish when I was a child [11] [24] [26] [43] [44].

“Mario teaching Italian, just like how Rayman taught French? No way!” exclaimed some of my dear readers. I know the idea of Mario teaching Italian is not an official one, but I am willing to explain how it can excel nonetheless. [26]

It is interesting enough that there is the possibility of a forthcoming Italian dub of the pilot of Hazbin Hotel being considered official and uploaded onto Vivienne Medrano’s YouTube channel [6] [7] [9], similar to how a talented Française team has developed an official French dub of the pilot [47] [48]. Furthermore, why not let there be a brand new educational game about Mario and Luigi teaching Italian to show that there is more to them being Italian than just their accents and love for spaghetti [12] [16]? [8]

The most essential thing of developing a game that encourages the player to learn a new language is providing very accurate translations or each word and sentence, similar to how a new Tomb Raider character could accurately display British Sign Language [49] [50]. The English translations for each sentence ought to be simple for a young audience to easily take in information for an at least enjoyable learning experience, such as “Stai bebe?”, which means “Are you okay?” and “Andiamo!”, which means “Let’s go!” [10] [29]. Of course, there needs to be plenty of words within specific categories to make the learning experience quite varied [43] [44], such as:

•         Greetings
•         Colours
•         Numbers
•         Clothing items
•         Weather
•         Animals
•         Places
•         Food

I know this sounds very stereotypical, but the food category of Italian words to learn might as well include spaghetti and pizza [12] [16]. Why not? The premise would be quite similar to how a smart device user would learn Italian or any other language, such as French or Spanish with the Duolingo app [3], but there does need to be some form of originality and excitement put into the experience of learning Italian of Mario and Luigi to make it at least fun for gamers and help it excel in sales.

I can imagine an updated version of this moment for “Mario Teaches Italian” already. [36]

An example of successfully translating in Duolingo. [3]

The idea of Mario and his comrades teaching a new language would be quite lacklustre without any engaging gameplay elements. In the nightmare Bubbles had in Princess Snorebucks, the player had to figure out which of the piñatas contained nuts for the squirrels [43] [44]. Hint: The piñata that resembled the correct term for the Spanish word displayed on a tree stump. In French With Rayman, Rayman was not able to progress in a level any further until he approached the correction for what word the announcer said [11]. Very similar progress of encouraging a young player to figure out each correct translation ought to apply to a game about Mario and Luigi teaching young Nintendo nerds on how to accurately say plenty of Italian words and phrases. The gameplay for that premise about ought to be the run-of-the-mill side-scrolling format that has been adored for thirty-five years [17]. There can be some other familiar characters available to be played as during a lively experience of learning Italian words, such as Toad and Yoshi. A platforming adventure that requires translating an Italian word or phrase correctly to progress in a level would make learning Italian with Mario encouraging, challenging and adventurous.

“Mario Teaches Italian” may not be an official idea for a game from the folks at Nintendo…yet, but the usual engaging gameplay of a side-scrolling adventure with the iconic plumber should be present to make the idea at least faithful to his legacy. [31]

The challenge of trying to guess the correct translation for each Italian word would do the idea of Mario teaching players how to speak Italian justice. [11]

Any other teachers besides the Mario brothers and their companions from old school Nintendo? Rosalina’s new summer outfit in the Marine tour in Mario Kart Tour is absolutely gorgeous [23]. She can also host a session of teaching some Italian words in her regular attire to further ensure that “Mario Teaches Italian” will fit in the aspects of the Super Mario we know today. Ever since Super Mario Galaxy, she has proven herself to a sweet and wise lady who would make a great teacher [19]. Or better yet, Pauline can also host a session as she has been doing great for herself ever since her grand return in Super Mario Odyssey as a mayor who can sing [20] [55] [56]. Nonetheless, it would be quite funny if she taught the player how to say “Please help me!” in Italian after she gets captured by Donkey Kong for old time’s sake [58]. Quite similar to how there was a section of Spanish words that were discovered in Bubbles’ nightmare in Princess Snorebucks that highly resembled a dictionary [43], there can be sections of Rosalina or Pauline providing images next to their English and Italian words as reminders of what has already been discovered during the prime gameplay.

This lovely lady would be a great teacher, even in a game that can teach young players Italian. [14] [46]

As much as I love Pauline in her fabulous New Year’s Eve outfit [14], I would love to see her as a teacher who can teach a category of Italian words in her regular red dress. At some point in the plot of “Mario Teaches Italian”, could she shout “Per favore mi aiuti!” in the clutches of Donkey Kong [55] [56]? [51]

So, which entertainment system should a game about Nintendo’s mascot and his brother teaching Italian be available for? I could suggest publishing it for the Nintendo Switch, but since the premise would be considered to be educational, it would seem quite out of place in the library of Mario games for the Switch to some Nintendo nerds [20]. Considering how the thing for educational games for computers seems to have been left in the past [1] [30], perhaps it could be a mobile app instead as Mario’s mobile app era began with Super Mario Run and continued to somewhat excel throughout the late 2010s [14] [18] [34] [42]. We are in an age of very young children being moderately attached to tablets. Heck, I remember that scene of a modern age equivalent of Baby Moana playing a game on her tablet in Ralph Breaks The Internet [13] [25]. A game about Mario teaching younger Nintendo nerds how to speak Italian can also be beneficial for teenaged and fully grown Nintendo nerds who wish to casually learn Italian words and phrases, which could further back up why I think it would be best to release it for mobile devices in the days after the acclaim of Mario’s mobile app trilogy [14] [18] [34] [42].

Despite how an adventurous experience of learning Italian with Mario for the Nintendo Switch Lite would seem out of place, it would at least be a suitable alternative option for the sake of bringing new concepts to the Switch era, especially for younger owners of the Switch Lite. [15]

Mario Kart Tour is still providing tours in Summer 2020 [22] [23], which is why the most suitable option for publishing “Mario Teaches Italian” would be for modern mobile devices. Perhaps it could be for foldable smartphones if they become successful enough [2] [27] [57]. [14]

I have a list of demands on how to make an educational game or app about Mario teaching Italian sometime in the 2020s more exceptional than Mario Is Missing! from 1993 and Mario Teaches Typing 2 from 1996 [21] [40] [41]. Here we go!

•       Make sure that the graphics are the lively and polished 3D ones from Nintendo today, not sloppy and cheesy 2D ones [5] [31]
•       Refrain from portraying Mario as a talkative disembodied head as that occupation belongs to Deadpool’s Head in this new age [31] [54]
•       Do not make the gameplay seem uninspiring, such as providing the method of having to type exactly what needs to be typed at the top of the screen [5] [21] [31]
•       Provide the timeless gameplay of a side-scrolling platformer with the challenge of guessing the correct translations for each Italian word or phrase instead [11]
•       Check errors within the learning material and fixing them for the final outcome [41]
•       Perhaps include a more convenient plot that does not involve a typewriter, especially a giant one that crushes a castle [5]

Sticking to requirements for huge improvements can help the “educational” genre of Mario games return gracefully [40]. As the old saying goes, those who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.

Hopefully the young ones will not have to put up with this rather uninspired method of gameplay on modern mobile devices. [31]

Oh. And one more thing. Avoid making references to death and disasters at all costs! Educational games are meant to be family-friendly, for crying out loud! Some Elmo products have been called out for…questionable audio errors [28] [45]. [5]

In conclusion, I believe a new Mario game that revives the series’ “educational” genre could work pretty well to each mostly young children how to speak Italian reliably and imaginatively. As someone who once volunteered at a nursery, I will always support the idea of some computer games and mobile applications providing educational purposes for young children. I have played quite a lot of those good old computer games when I was a child, including Pocket and Tails Go To Town and Learning Ladder: Year 3 [1] [30]. In 2020, there have been a few signs of Nintendo running out of ideas for the Mario franchise by establishing uninspired additions, such as Mario, Luigi, Peach and Rosalina as fire doctors in Dr. Mario World and Gold Dry Bowser in Mario Kart Tour [4] [14] [37] [52] [53]. On the bright side, there can always be new ways for the franchise to at least revive long-forgotten concepts and bring them into new games in rather refreshing ways. Not only can “Mario Teaches Italian” be a sign of Nintendo trying something new, but it can show that there is more to Mario and Luigi being Italian other than their accents and appetites of spaghetti [12] [16]. Arrivederci!

“Andiamo, Luigi!” [35] [46]

Et au revoir! [11]

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